Grow the fuck up.

I can tell from Facebook, I guess some other person/crew keeps hating on TPC? Seriously, what the hell, leave that drama and attitude for middle school and high school. You guys are all in college, who in the world brings that shit with them. I'm not talking about TPC, I'm talking about this other guy, Xavier or something? I click on his facebook page and all I see are statuses full of insults towards TPC. I'm not just saying this because I know people in the crew and am friends with them, but I find it so immature to be starting beef like that. Not like I'll ever know the full story or anything, it's just that by the time you're in college... one part that makes college so much better than high school is that you get to leave all that kiddish drama shit behind you. When I look at Xavier's page, there are SIX statuses hating on TPC within the last two days. Can you really get anymore low than that? When I look at Don's, Nam's, or just anyone else's page from TPC, I can tell they really just don't give a fuck and find this beef annoying as hell. This hate or whatever isn't consuming their time nor getting to them, so I don't see why this Xavier guy cares.

Damn, just go back to high school if you're going to act like that. Be like those freshmen that love attention and start something out of nothing.

So, we've been talking for a tiny bit more than a year now and nothing has changed. I still like him, he possibly likes me? I don't know. We were able to finally hang out this past Monday since I happened to be in Bellevue, even though it ended up being a lot of trouble for him :( But anyways, that night I'm with Priscilla and Lynn, and we're all talking about our days.

Priscilla was talking about how she purposely left him and I alone at the mall, and apparently she even texted him, "I'm giving you so many opportunities here!", encouraging him to make a move I guess. I had no idea at the time she even texted him -_- It's funny though, even though we were together at the mall for a few hours, nothing happened. We talked like normal and nothing was awkward, but in terms of making a move, we both didn't initiate anything. At night when Silla and Lynn were talking to me, Silla was all, "Did he even try to hold your hand?!" and I just replied, "nahhh."

I guess from any outsider's point-of-view, we're crazy for having talked this long, and yet absolutely nothing whatsoever has happened. He beats around the bush a lot and is a shy person in general, I already know. The weird part is... I don't even care. I don't care if he never holds my hand, I don't care if he never gets a hint, I don't care if we never kiss, and so on. I mean sure, of course it'd be nice if some things happened like cuddling to a movie or just holding hands, but to me it's not a big deal. Physical moves are just physical moves, and they either happen or they don't. For a lot of people they'd probably be frustrated or have given up by now, but the reason I don't care is because I don't want a relationship. When Silla and Lynn talked to me, they were saying how guys can never understand hints, and why is he so shy, etc. I totally agree with everything they say, and they asked me about what I think. I just replied, "Yup! But oh well, It don't matteeeer". It's not like I want a relationship so it'd be dumb to fuss over things that couples do. I'm content as is, with our never-ending conversations and super long conversations on the phone, even though those phone calls are so rare since I've been so busy.

Seriously, who cares. All the little benefits of a relationship like holding hands, kissing... those things are nice, and if they happened then sure I'd be happy, but I'm not going to be sad/mad if they never ever do. What's the point of trying to pursue the parts of a relationship if I don't even want a relationship?

Today I used the word douche.

Weird.
Anyways, I've been so happy despite being so busy! I know what awaits me so everything I'm doing now feels rewarding, even if my rewards are mere temporary blessings.
What I need to get done by tomorrow 4pm: Calculus take-home midterm & email it to teacher, Japanese Bunpoo quiz online, Japanese homework, Theocratic Ministry School Review for church, English final draft & submit it, Bible reading, Watchtower, clean make up brushes, charge camera battery, pack and prepare for Sunday, and possibly English homework assigned Monday & Tuesday.

So much to do, but I'm excited because the moment 4pm hits tomorrow, I'm going to have fun for 3-4 days straight :) Going to Silla's, and then Sam is giving us a ride to Kollaboration. Then on Sunday after church I go straight to school to leave for FLC/DECA conference! ahhhhhhhh that's going to be so much fun! Even though I'm still pissed that we don't get to stay at the hotel's there because some lame people who can't afford it are going on the trip, I at least get to stay at Lynn's house overnight with Silla since we're keeping that a secret from mom :D Hooray, sleepless nights with my two favorite girls!

Life is good.

Super shady.

I'm so irritated at my aunt on my dad's side right now. Never have I known such a fucking shady bitch, putting your greed for money/material possessions over family matters. Not to mention you don't seem to ever earn or deserve any of the money you get, you just fucking take it when it's convenient..

Like when your own mom is going through health problems, you just want to "help" so you can get her house under your name. Fucking shady, trying to look so helpful and caring. You're just a selfish, two-faced monster that wants money money money. I hate you, my parents are doing so much for grandma/YOUR mom and you don't care about her until you find out you can get something out of it yourself, like grandma's house.

Fuck you.

The cutest couples.

I honestly believe the cutest couples are the ones that somewhat act like kids. Where their idea of a date could just be spending a day at the park, watching a Disney movie, or going to the zoo. In public they barely show any PDA or none at all other than possibly holding hands. It does sound kiddish and immature, but from a bystanders point-of-view I think those relationships last the longest because the two individuals aren't attracted to each other for the mere physical aspect or for the kissing or for sex. Like Ann and Brian, it took them a whole year of liking each other before they decided to really call themselves girlfriend/boyfriend, and even now you'd never notice it at school because they never hold hands or hug or anything. Well, I'm sure they do when they're at each other's house, but you can tell that they just genuinely like/love each other; even their families like each other. Then there's Dalica and Gian, where they talked for months and after several months Dalica finally decided to be the "man" of the relationship and ask Gian out. Whenever I see them at school they are so adorable, and it was only just awhile ago when they started to hold hands in public. And knowing Dalica well, I know that she knows what she's doing and both of them aren't rushing anything because they like each other that much. Plus there's also Don and Sophia. I don't really know either of them too well but from what I've seen and heard, I'm pretty sure they'll last a long time and they are one of the cutest couples I've known. I almost feel like they're little kids, but not in a naive way.

Really, if you're willing to be in a relationship without all the touching, kissing, and typical physical benefits, obviously that means you're in like/love with the significant other's personality. And that means that nothing is rushed into, which results in longer-lasting relationships. Because physical attraction can only last a person so long.

Kisses.

Me: Clean my room and I pay you with cookies ^_^
Him: What do I look like to you -___-" with cookies....
Me: You look like da cookiez monstaaar :)
Him: How do I look like the cookie monster...
Me: Because you're blue and fuzzy and have googly eyes 8) hahaha sike! Fine if you're not a cookie kinda person.. I can pay with ice cream! Candy! Kisses!
Him: So you're saying I'm fat... haha! I love cookies and ice cream and candy and kisses ;) lol!
Me: Seee that's why you must help me clean, I could pay you with all that! Homemade cookies even lmao
Him: But I got all those at home, except for the kisses.. ha
Me: So kisses aren't enough :(
Him: Kisses are enough ;) hehehe
Me: Hahaha too bad, you don't get any since you won't clean for me xD
Him: Oh well I can just get kisses some other time, that doesn't involve cleaning!
Me: Hahaha okay okay sure some other time, whatever you wanna believe..
Him: So no kisses next time :(
Me: Maybe kisses and maybe not!
Him: So no kisses :(

Hahahahaha the funny part is that when I first mentioned kisses I was thinking of Hershey's Chocolate kisses xD Oh well.