I'm lost in a fresh new infatuation, with lingering feelings in the previous one still. I'm still a female with no strings attached, but I can't help but feel so confused. What the hell am I supposed to do? Going from an adolescent who loved to be independent and didn't like anyone for four years, to someone liking two guys at once. One I fell for the subtlety, while this other one I fell too quickly and feel like I'm rushing just because I know I won't see him for another year or probably more once I leave California. A summer fling or maybe more? I don't know, it's too early to tell. I just know that tomorrow will be the last time I get to see him.

For now I just say I'll go with the flow, but either way I still feel like I'm doing at least one of these guys wrong. I don't know who though.

My prediction was right... a lot can change over summer. I have to see how I'll end up once I'm back home in Washington. Maybe this new infatuation will die out, or we'll keep getting to know each other and it'll grow. I don't know, I'm still stuck in this dilemma.

Man, I didn't like anyone for four years.... I wish it stayed that way.

You entered: Michelle Tiffany Kuo

There are 18 letters in your name.
Those 18 letters total to 87
There are 7 vowels and 11 consonants in your name.

What your first name means:

Hebrew	Female	Close to God. Feminine form of Michael: Who is like God? Gift from God.
French	Female	Feminine of Michael: gift from God.

Your number is: 6

The characteristics of #6 are: Responsibility, protection, nurturing, community, balance, sympathy.

The expression or destiny for #6:
The number 6 Expression provides you a truly outstanding sense of responsibility, love, and balance. The 6 is helpful and ever conscientious, making you quite capable of rectifying and balancing any sort of inharmonious situation. You are a person very much inclined to give help and comfort to those in need. You have a natural penchant for working with the old, the young, the sick, or the underprivileged. Although you may have considerable creative and artistic talents, the chances are that you will devote yourself to an occupation that shows concern for the betterment of the community.

The positive side of the number 6 suggests that you are very loving, friendly, and appreciative of others. You have a depth of understanding that produces much sympathetic, kindness, and generosity. The qualities of the 6 make the finest and most concerned parent and one often deeply involved in domestic activities. Openness and honesty is apparent in your approach to all relationships.

If there is an excess of the number 6 in your makeup, you may exhibit some of the negative traits associated with this number. There may be a tendency for you to be too exacting and demanding of yourself. In this regard, you may at times sacrifice yourself (or your loved ones) for the welfare of others. In some cases, the over zealous 6 has difficulty distinguishing helping from interfering. You may have difficulty expressing your own individuality, because of involvement with responsibilities and causes. Like all with the Expression of the number 6, it's quite likely that you worry much too much.

Your Soul Urge number is: 11

A Soul Urge number of 11 means:
With the 11 Soul Urge, much of your thinking and interests relate to the abstract, the spiritual, and utopian dreams. You are motivated toward idealistic concepts, and the sharing of your ideas and concepts with humanity. This number is not one that is giving in a material or a practical sense, but rather one who desires to help mankind with a more abstract commodity such as religion, spiritualism, occult studies, or even psychic abilities.

If you possess the positive 11 Soul Urge traits, you have a dream of the perfect world; you are highly idealistic and inspirational. Your inner strength and devotion to your beliefs are extremely strong. You have a very good mind that is especially well equipped to handle the higher, more abstract forms of thought.

If there is an excess of 11 energy in your makeup, you may possess some the negative 11 traits. There is a tendency for the 11 to produce considerable amounts of nervous tension which is bought on by a very high level of awareness. You may be too sensitive and overly emotional. In some cases, these sensitivities and emotions are quite repressed, and this tends to add even more to the sense of nervousness in the makeup.

The strong 11 is not a very practical person because of the extreme idealism; often, there is a degree of self-deception present. There is usually a rather fixed idea of right and wrong held by those showing strong 11 traits, and with this very often is a resulting attitude of inflexibility.

Your Inner Dream number is: 4

An Inner Dream number of 4 means:
You dream of being a very solid citizen that people can depend upon. You strive for organization and predictable order. You want to be recognized as a person with a plan and the discipline to make that plan work like clockwork.

http://www.paulsadowski.com/numbers.asp

Your view on yourself:

Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education

You may not like to study but you have many practical ideas. You listen to your own instincts and tend to follow your heart, so you will probably end up with an unusual job.

The right job for you:

You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

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The italicized part... that, THAT is just so completely off! I don't flirt at all. Like seriously, I bet no one can ever recall a time where I've flirted with someone. It's simply not in my list of capabilities. Even with people I like, I don't flirt. Grr.

http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

It isn't a crime to talk on the phone at 4am. It's not like I'm sinning against God for talking "too late". I understand if you're mad, but I have nothing to hide and you're not bothering to listen to a word I say.

I hate growing reliant on people. Hate it hate it hate it. I miss relying solely on myself for smiles, not necessarily being independent, but having that independent mentality. I miss having my happiness in my own hands, because I didn't have to crave for a certain someone to talk to me or a certain someone to make me laugh.

Hmm honestly, even though I'm in California right now, this summer isn't that great. It was only two days ago I finally texted Lynn to see what's been going on with her, and then yesterday I called Priscilla to catch up with her and we got to have those conversations I've dearly missed. I haven't been keeping touch with anyone, really, except for those two and that was after practically a week of not talking to them. Oh but I still text Pogo each day. I don't know, it's different though than during the school year because now he sleeps in until like 1pm each day while most days I'm up before 10am. So that's like half the day of not talking to him, and then those days when he has work -_- Also, I haven't called him since he had finals, which was like three weeks ago, because ever since his summer started, he's been able to go out a lot with his friends late at night practically everyday, and so I don't want to be a bother by calling at like 2am if he's with his homies. He says I wouldn't be a bother but still, I always have, and probably always will, have this thought in the back of my mind that I'm a bother to everyone, no matter how close I am to them. I feel like I'd be a burden if I showed how reliant I am on them.

Yeah, I liked it better when it was just me, myself, and I.