Thoughts of 2am.

Priscilla kept asking him, "Do you like Michelle?" He kept avoiding the question. He'd say "I like talking to her.." but never a direct yes or no. Trying to change subjects, never a real answer. Eventually he said, "Hmm okay you can say I do? Lol!" What does that even mean, it's like a reluctant admittance after much force from Priscilla, so I'm not taking that as an answer.

But how he'd keep saying "I like talking to her.." makes me think, Do I even really like him? Or do I just really like TALKING to him? When I really do think about it, I'm still back in that stage months and months ago where I questioned if I really even knew him. What the hell do I know about him? That he's Filipino and hates working at DQ and has the worst sleeping habits in the world. I know he is a wonderful human alarm clock for me, saved my academic butt five times, and talks to me even while playing COD. I know he always sends an average of a 2-page text to me, I know he says Lol after pretty much every sentence, and puts those annoying spaces before practically all of his punctuation marks. I know he can make himself stay up late just to beat me, hence in the ten months we've been talking he's always slept later than me. It's always his good night, and my good morning. I know he cusses less when he talks to me for some reason, he loves Pokemon, Bleach, and Naruto and is like a kid even despite his constant denials.

Okay, so maybe I know a bit about him. The facts, the basics. But I never know what goes on in his head. I never know what he's feeling because for us it's all just fun and games, we can never have a really in-depth conversation. I can't talk about beliefs, religion, my opinion on so many deeper topics. I have no idea if he's had a past love life, I have no idea on a lot of things. If I tell him I like him, we think it's a game with different levels from hate to dislike to like to love to superlove. It's come to the point where so many things can't be taken seriously, like if he says a compliment or something sweet I feel like there's a "Just kidding" or "sike!" after it. It's so funny, we've talked for so long every single day, but in actuality our communication is pretty vague. Always beating around the bush.

So do I like him? Or do I just like talking to him? For months I thought it was the former, even now I still do just because that's what I've convinced myself of. Maybe, just maybe though, I should start believing the latter.

I really just don't know. See, this is what happens when I'm left to my thoughts late at night.