Dear Tiffany,

It's 2:30am right now and I'm writing this for you. Even though I'm tired and actually have tons of things I need to do by Monday (for school and church), for some odd reason I'm putting you first. Actually, that reason is because I care about you a lot.

I know I talked with you earlier but you already know for a fact that I write better than I speak. And for your sake, I'll refer to that fellow as just "he" or "him" without mentioning his name.

You already know I'm pretty disappointed in you... I know I sounded mad over the phone but I guess I was still flustered from learning that you spent time with him watching movies. And I know that me, Lynn, and Priscilla all sounded like we were just plain-out angry but of course it's because we want what's best for you! Lynn didn't even want to talk because she was so aggravated but didn't want to blow up on you. We just don't understand... you were so, SO close to letting him go. You say you've already let him go but I mean COMPLETELY let him go. If you actually did fully let him go, you wouldn't be so skeptical about not talking to him for a month. Just a month Tiffany! We're even giving you a week to talk things through with him. It sure might seem really hard now, but in the long-run it's for your own good. Trust me, I know what it's like to talk to someone so much where it feels like a daily routine. To the point where it feels like the day just isn't complete unless you at least have some sort of conversation. But a month? Just a month. You're worried that you guys will drift away and things won't stay the same. Well in a sense, that's kind of the point. Okay so first of all, if he really is this wonderful "best friend" that you speak of, he won't let a month of not speaking to you get in the way of the friendship. As long as you explain to him that you still want to remain friends after the month, he should still be there. If not, then you know what, he DEFINITELY is not even worth your time at all. A "true" friend that can't even wait a fucking 30 days? What kind of friend is that? Second of all, things shouldn't be the same after the month. Because by then your feelings POSSIBLY (hopefully) will have settled. He won't be that friend that you still have lingering feelings for, he'll be the friend that is just there like any other. He won't be that guy that makes you ride on a crazy emotional roller-coaster because you'll be off that stupid cart.

I've tried seeing it from your point of view, I really have. I mean of course I'd be just as confused, you had a lot of good memories with him. But I'm not telling you to forget them, go ahead and keep them. All I'm asking is that you stop dwelling on these pieces from the past. Stop trying to relive those moments by trying to spend more time with him. Sure in your eyes, it's not doing any harm but it sure as hell isn't helping the problem at all either. All it's doing is giving him the upper-hand and proving his own ideas true. He knows you can't let go of him. HE KNOWS. To him you're just a girl that keeps his fucking self-esteem up--in Lynn's words, his "booty call." Every single time you finally get out of his lingering grasp and breathe a fresh air of a world without him, he notices right away and pulls you back in before you're out of his sight. That's why just when it seems like you're happier, just when it seems like you aren't as reliant on him, he texts you with that whole I'm happy you're finally getting over me bullshit. And he gets mad about it. Like seriously, who does that?! Not just a "friend", that's for sure. He's trying to take advantage of you. He wants you to always be there for him because he knows that one day every other girl will see through his facade but then you'll still be there as a last resort. Yeah, you know how he is, so feel free do agree or disagree. Heck, you're closer to him than me obviously. But I still talk to him, I've known him for more than four years and so has Priscilla. My brother is even best friends with him, Tiffany. Even my brother knows that that's how he works.

I don't know about you, but I'm tired of seeing you hurt. See it from our point of view Tiffany--our best friend hurt over and over again by the same guy. You're not the only one hurting because our hearts sink too each time we see a Facebook status like "I really need a hug right now" or "CURSES I'm upset and confused right now!" And we've seen these too many times. I hear about you going to bed crying or going to bed very frustrated or angry, and I don't want to see you go through this. I love you Tiffany and I don't want this stupid guy to be the one who impacts your emotions the most. YOU should be the one who controls your emotions, not him. But the thing is, you're LETTING him do this to you because you can't cut off communication with him!

I noticed whenever Silla, Lynn, or I said something on the phone, you automatically defend him. Why is that? I know you still care for him, but do you not see what he's done to you? All of that harm that's he has done to your heart and soul that has been going on for 9 months now. 9 MONTHS, see THAT is a long time, of him just pulling strings and playing with your already torn heart.

I saw on Tough Love, there's a woman there who has a "best friend" that she used to date (sounds familiar?). They were on and off--for 9 YEARS. She said she tells him everything and keeps contact with him still throughout all those years, claiming she still loves him even though the guy says no so she tries to suppress her emotions (sounds familiar again?). That guy kept her on an emotional rollercoaster for nine fucking years because there was never any closure. She felt like one day he'll take her back, but that didn't happen. The guy just kept her on a leash without ever really saying "I don't like you at all." Instead, the two of them just "went with the flow" and let whatever happen, happen. Tiffany, she was a grown woman! For NINE YEARS she got her heart played, and I'm worried if you don't start making the smart decision now, you'll end up like her. I don't want to see you crying so much for nine years, you deserve so, so , SOOOOOOO much better than that. You should be happy you got this other guy to help you, you know ;) At least you're making memories with him. But stop making more memories with the stupid guy! How in the world will you get over him if you keep doing things to remind yourself of him? Now each time you see a movie or see a fucking meatball you'll think of him. That's really not helping the situation Tiffany...

Each time we ask you, "Do you even want to get over him?" you always respond "....I don't even know..." And I'm pretty sure it's because you want to still stay friends with him, right? Well for your information, it's possible to get over the guy but still be friends with him! Just... at a later time. When we're pleading you to get over him, we're not saying to cut him completely out of your life. We're only saying to get some time alone without him so you can get your emotions together and allow your heart to stop liking him. He played your heart, you need to stop giving it to him like a damn toy. You're the one in control of who you talk to, and who you spend you're time with. There are 6 billion people in the world, why waste your days with him of all people?

I know this seems kind of overexaggerated just from your one movie hangout with him, but I guess this is what I've wanted to say for a long time. I'm not necessarily ridiculing you for your decisions, because what's done is done. But starting now the choices are still all yours and it's up to you if you'd rather listen to what your 3 best friends have to say or what your currently emotionally unstable heart has to say.

Again, I'm not here to tell you what you're feeling, or to say that I understand what you're going through because I don't. That's totally impossible. And I've always said this in the past, "You can't control your emotions. But you can control how you respond and handle them." And quite frankly Tiffany, if this has been going on for nine months and is still continuing, maybe you should change your approach with how much you're communicating with him.







All I'm asking for is one month.

Love, Michelle