Off the team?

My thoughts are hella scattered right now and I'm not sure how to feel about everything overall, so bear with me. This post might lead to nowhere but it's getting everything out of my head.

So today after school, the dance team (except for Jocelyn) had a meeting for about a half hour. We were wondering what to do about her--should we let her stay on the team if she wants to come back, or "kick" her off?
No doubt, she disappointed all of us. I know so many of us shed tears when we first learned she'd walk out on us, but over the weekend we've developed anger. I love her to death, but she was being so selfish.
I learned that on Thursday night, after that practice and everything, Jocelyn still moved out of Jeana's house. She went to live with her dad in Everett. Ugh I'm so frustrated with this, because Jeana was really just being a good parent! But Jocelyn's REAL father... he fails as a parent. UTTERLY FAILS.

BLAH, rewind. Okay I'm going to explain Jocelyn's past.
Jeana's sister had Jocelyn when she was a teenager, so she felt like she wasn't ready to care for a daughter yet. She still wanted the best for her though, so then HER mom's cousin & spouse said they'd take care of her. Jeana and her sister let those cousins take care of Jocelyn because those people said they'd do this and that for her... well they'd be good parents. BUT, they turned out to be people that didn't go by their word. They didn't discipline her or anything. You know how when we were all young, if we did something wrong, like stole candy from a store, our parents would tell us it's wrong and punish us? Yeah, well that didn't happen with her. She didn't ever get in trouble. She grew up with these adopted parents that never bothered to train her, all they did was buy her things. For 12 straight years, they let her do what she want. It's not her fault, when everyone was young we never really knew right from wrong, or what expectations to meet. Eventually though, she felt like she wanted to live with her real, biological mother when she was 12. So she asked her adopted parents, and they just said Yes. Shows what wonderful parents they were.... they didn't fight for her or anything. They let her go without a second thought. I mean, adopted or not, if you cared for a child for 12 years, wouldn't you feel some kind of emotional hurt when your kid wants to leave? But yeah, I guess they didn't care, so they let her go.

So now she moved to Oregon to live with her mom. But then in her school there, some nasty rumor started up about her, and she couldn't take it anymore. She left that place after awhile and came back up here to Washington. So the sensible thing would be for those adopted parents to take her back, right? NOPE, they DIDN'T want her back. Instead, they called Jeana's grandma to see if they would take Jocelyn in. Yup, JEANA'S grandma, not Jocelyn's. So that would make it Jocelyn's GREAT-GRANDMOTHER. No one that old can possibly take care of a teenager, they already have health issues and such to worry about. I can't believe those adopted parents had the audacity to do that.

So that's where Jeana came in. She took Jocelyn in because there was no where else to go, and she knew that Jocelyn's biological dad up in Everett would do horrible parenting. Now this was pretty much the first time in Jocelyn's life where she had expectations set before her. Where discipline came into play. And so this past Thursday, when ALL she had to do in front of us and Jeana was apologize as a punishment, she couldn't take it anymore in Jeana's house. She wanted OUT of Jeana's house.

So Thursday night, she moved out and went to live with her Dad in Everett. We can already see how this is SUCH an unwise decision. She came to school today, and during the day, she went up to Lashaye and Monika, and was showing her new iPhone her dad got her. And the shopping spree they just went on... blah. That's exactly what Jeana knew would happen, her dad just BUYS BUYS BUYS her THINGS. And Thursday night Jeana called their house to see if Jocelyn was okay, and the dad picked up. He said he won't allow her to talk to Jocelyn. You know what he said that really pissed the whole dance team off? "I think Jocelyn needs a vacation from expectations." What. the. fuck. She's a teenager. She NEEDS expectations... grades, morals, restrictions. But nope, her dad has ZERO expectations for her and just buys her stuff.

Ugh, so as you can tell, in a sense it's not Jocelyn's fault she thinks the way she does. She grew up with people who never loved her, with no discipline. Her whole entire life she has never had that "ride or die" kind of friend, and has gone through things that makes her have great trust issues.

Still, her walking out on Jeana and the whole entire team was SELFISH of her. Completely.
So at the discussion today, we all gave our opinion on whether or not it'd be wise to accept her on the team if she wants to come back.

From a competitive dance team standpoint, it'd be best if we don't let her come back. We're only 4 practices away from Districts, we can't let this drama distract us. We need to focus and concentrate on improving. Ayana heard Jocelyn wants to come to practice tomorrow and see how things work out, but seriously... Jeana is our coach. Nothing will be the same anymore, the amount of cooperation, the tension... practices won't just flow like they always do. So everyone agreed it'd be best if she was OFF because we're pissed off that she left the whole dance team hanging, and we don't want anything like that to bring us down in performing/competing.

On a personal note though, I feel like it wouldn't be best because... her whole life she had trust issues. The dance team is LITERALLY FAMILY. We're all so close and have bonded like crazy over the year. We consider ourselves real ohana. So if we kick Jocelyn off the team, won't Jocelyn have even more trust issues? The one outlet in life where there were 12 other people who GENUINELY cared about her, if we turn our backs on her she might never learn to trust.. well anyone.

So I don't even know, still. I think I want her off the team, because that would be best for the team in general. She turned HER back on us. But at the same time, I feel like leaving her behind would only hurt her more. Not to be conceited or whatever, but seriously, she NEEDS US more than we need her.

Sure, for the competitive dance team standpoint, she's a huge asset to the team since she can pull off flips and stunts, and got great facials. But it's not too big of a deal, if we all focus enough we can step our game up to the highest possible.

akfnsdfhaighgnajgwjan. Like I said, my thoughts are everywhere.