"I can't ever imagine Michelle having a boyfriend."

Haha today as I was scrolling through text messages in my inbox to figure out what I should lock or erase, I saw the text messages from Herman a couple weeks ago. And then it reminded me of the phone call Priscilla and I had with him, and how Priscilla was like "I can't ever imagine Michelle having a boyfriend." Others, like Herman, thought it was an offensive remark towards me, but actually it's a hidden truth because Priscilla knows me too well ;) I really can't imagine myself with a boyfriend (in high school, of course). I feel like I've gone so long as an independent individual, I just don't want to have to rely on a significant other so much. I know I've never been in a relationship before, and maybe here and there I feel "lonely" or in need of a guy, but I already love the way I live too much to alter that. I used to think that maybe I just have high standards and that's why I haven't liked a guy for so long, but I realized that the real reason might just be that I don't want to like a guy. Even if I did, I don't want the relationship that comes with it. I'm already such a busy person, pursuing tons of goals that I've set for myself, and still feeling like I don't have enough time during the day. Having an official boyfriend or emotional tie to a guy would probably just consume my thoughts and time too much. I like the freedom and feeling of self-sufficiency from staying single.

The odd thing is, I feel like even if I do like a guy, my mind will be too in denial to want to admit it since I don't want any relationship to develop. I won't say I'm completely close-minded to the idea of having a boyfriend, but all my life I've been stubborn and stick to what I believe in. So currently I'm just thinking for myself, and have come to the realization that I really "can't ever imagine Michelle having a boyfriend."

But then again, what do I know? I'm a naive person. Maybe one day I'll end up liking a guy too much to the point of changing my perspective on things. Or maybe I have liked a guy in the past but was in denial too much to want to do anything about it.