I wonder how long this feeling will last. I wonder if this is all just temporary, an emotion ready to disintegrate the moment I want to rely on someone else to keep me company. People say you "fall out of love," but I already know I'm not in love, I'm stationary at mere infatuation and I don't mind. I don't want it to go any further than this and I'm satisfied. I have enough self-control to not want a relationship out of this, and even at this very moment, if I was asked out (but I'm sure that'll never happen, just hypothetically speaking) I could easily say "No."

Yet, I know that I do like him, funny how things turned out this way. I go three years not liking anyone, and I end up admiring this guy through text messages and later phone calls. I lose sleep over this dork, like how I slept at 5:50am two nights ago. Not very smart of me, I know, but I can't really say I regret it. Oh well, I got sick anyways and stayed home all day, while he ran on three hours of sleep the entire day with school and six-seven hours of work. Plus he had to study for a physics final for the following day. I would be deeeead if I were him aha. He was so tired last night when I woke him up at 4am, 5am, and 6:30am... He kept putting off his studying! Had to yell at him to get up out of bed and study for his test, since it's worth triple points.

Anyways, I wonder how long this will last. These late night phone calls, these daily text messages, the occasional hangouts every few months, him being my human alarm clock and saving me academically (like five times now x_x). Because after this school year, he's done with high school and I'll be moving forward too. Actually he's just going to community college and I'll just be doing Running Start, but a lot can change over a summer, right? Especially with the fact that I won't even be in Washington for more than half the break. I'll just be grateful with what I have now though, I'm appreciative that I actually have someone to talk to at three in the morning, someone to attempt "all-nightys" with on Saturdays and in the summer, someone to fill up the inbox on my phone. But if I don't want this to go anywhere and don't want a relationship, how long can this really go? Because I don't want it to end, but it's probably not the best idea to hold on to this if either of us want to move forward with life.